I had hard time putting my thoughts to order. I started drafting this podcast episode two weeks before 2021 ended and that was days before me and my friends even planned our New Year getaway. It could be because of sooooo many things that happened in 2021, how it felt overwhelming, scary, traumatizing and the fact that I sat with all of them until healing decided to finally show up after years of desperately seeking for it from other places other than inside me.
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Rumi was indeed right. What I was seeking was seeking me too and they found me when I came face to face with my fears.
The huge part of my traumatized and overworked brain has calmed down that now that all I can remember are the good things, words and little moments of joy that I collected to re-frame my mind. When I made peace with my past, they stopped haunting me and they stayed where they supposed to be staying; in the past. Now it is extra challenging to remember.
Nowadays, I can only recall how grateful I am to have stumbled upon peace that I once thought impossible.
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2021 has been a trying year and a mixture of insane ups and downs that I thought I’d never make it out sane when I thought that 2020 was the year I went all the way in when it comes to living a spiritual life. The storms I faced since the time I left everything behind six years ago was actually nothing compared to what 2021 brought to my life and looking back, had I didn’t have all the wisdom from the previous years, I doubt if I’d be able to survive.
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I faced 2021 already fully equipped though I failed to see it right away.
As I allowed my mind to wander back to 2021, my hand automatically and effortlessly worked to write down lessons I learned and realizations that dawned on me which also took years for me to be able to make sense of. I panicked a little when I saw more than 47 items. I never expected I’d learned that much in a year and I feel richer than I already felt.
My spiritual life is rich because of all the bad decisions I have made. But these bad decisions gave me wisdom and real life lessons I wouldn’t have bumped into had I not intended on doing what I felt that’s best for me even if I needed to cry buckets of tears.
These tears have watered the seeds of growth inside me and now, I am harvesting the fruit of my labor. I can even hardly recognize myself when I look at my old pictures especially the ones just before I lost my mind and kissed the rat race goodbye.
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Now I feel ready for anything and for whatever life wants me to learn and where it wants me to go.
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Dear 2021,
you’re way beyond amazing. Thank you for making me break so bad and thank you for giving me the courage to put my own pieces together differently.
Dear 2022,
My tail is wagging. I am ready for you.
Dear Self,
I am proud of you.
To the small circle I am keeping,
Thank you for the positive energy, support and spending time with me even if all I can offer is my company.
Dear beautiful people of the internet,
I appreciate you and you’ll always be a part of my daily gratitude practice.
Dear Universe,
Thank you. I will keep on using the gifts and talents you gave me.