“What is beauty if the brain is empty.”
I clearly remember this line from a very young age. I was 12 and my classmates would then gather to recite their mottos in life.
Though I am a nerd and my classmates would only talk to me when it comes to school matters, I came up with one in my head just in case they would feel like asking their nerdy class valedictorian.
I would proudly and loudly say “What is beauty if the brain is empty” which never failed to shut my classmates up.
I sounded very defensive from a very young age because I already know that my big built, curly hair and acne prone skin would never make me qualified to be in any beauty pageant.
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You see, my classmates, my family and everyone around me never failed to remind me that I am far from meeting any beauty standards hence my zero self esteem.
I was constantly teased and called “pig” if I couldn’t keep my cool and refuse to tolerate their B.S.
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I always ended up in fist fights with boys which I strongly felt also taught my girl classmates not to mess with me.
At some point, I was so thankful that my mother did everything in her power to take me away from that school. Clearly, I didn’t belong there. I needed a school where people would leave me alone so I can enjoy my own little world.
As I grew older, I got more conscious. I noticed the difference in how people treat someone who looks pretty on the outside, I did everything in my power just to experience that kind of treatment too. I got hooked to that feeling and I didn’t hold myself back from showing some skin and expressing myself.
No wonder a friend who now lives in Canada said that I was so cocky before.
As I moved countries, experienced cultural differences, I was slapped by a reality that looks are not enough to win in life especially when attacked by depression and intrusive thoughts.
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I focused so much on the physical aspect and it’s so late to realize that I have neglected my mind, my heart and my soul.
Depression has taken over the better part of me.
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As I continued to take each day as it comes and trained my eyes and my mind to see the beauty in life again, my perspective about beauty and what makes a woman truly beautiful also changed.
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I was compelled to go as far as my childhood memories until that simple life motto came up. Only this time it is more like “what is beauty if the soul is empty”.
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A beautiful woman educates herself
A beautiful woman knows that education doesn’t stop in school and the only time one can truly say that she is educated is dependent to how she treats everyone around her and if she applies everything she has taken away in her everyday life and if she tries to learn something new everyday.
A beautiful woman knows that she doesn’t know everything and no one can teach her anything. She doesn’t sit around and wait. She allots time to improve herself by reading self-help books, listening to podcasts, watching TED talks and using all the free tools and resources readily available especially in this age of technology.
She doesn’t rest on her laurels. She is open minded who is willing to learn and to admit if there’s something she doesn’t know.
A beautiful woman understands that applied knowledge is power.
A beautiful woman sees challenges as opportunity to grow.
A beautiful woman knows that challenges are what makes a person resilient. She also picks her battles but is also aware that comfort zone is equally dangerous because nothing grows there.
A beautiful woman knows that whatever she’ll learn from rough situations in her life will be useful in the next set of challenges she will face.
She knows that different life stages requires a different version of herself.
She doesn’t ask why things happen to her nor play victim. Instead, she displays readiness and eagerness to learn and make space for growth.
If anything, a beautiful woman doesn’t like to feel stuck.
She knows that everything is figureoutable.
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A beautiful woman is money savvy.
A beautiful woman values every single cent. She doesn’t see money as evil instead she sees it as a powerful tool to make things happen.
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She loves money but no slave to it. She doesn’t need a man to pay for her. She is sensible not stingy. Instead of working for money, she finds ways to make money work for her.
She knows the difference between an expense and an investment.
She understands that scarcity is just in the head. A beautiful woman lives in abundance because practicing gratitude is part of her daily routine and she is thankful for every little thing she has in her life.
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A beautiful woman makes time for herself.
A beautiful woman knows how to date herself and enjoy her time alone without feeling lonely.
She knows how to say no to invites if that means sacrificing her time to recharge and connect to her self.
She makes herself a priority because she knows the importance of being able to show up on all of her tasks fully. She knows that she’ll be a better wife, partner, mother, daughter, friend, employee or businesswoman if she has recovered well.
She is all out in taking care of herself because she loves being in charge of her life.
A beautiful woman knows that healthy doesn’t mean going to the gym.
A beautiful woman knows that her body is her temple. She respects it by giving it the nourishment, love and care it needs by listening to it and giving it what it wants whether a 30 minute walk, a hot bath or a 15 minute power nap.
She doesn’t body-shame herself. She wears clothes that flatter her body type. She is not ashamed of her flaws because she knows that they are signs that she is alive and able to endure all the growing her body needs.
A beautiful woman has a healthy appetite and not afraid to indulge. She knows balance and she is mindful of what she does with her body. She honors her temple.
A beautiful woman is a #Goaldigger
A beautiful woman has goals and knows how to get them. She doesn’t mind how slow her progress is. She enjoys the process and knows that life isn’t just about reaching those goals but about the colorful journey.
She enjoys a slow and meaningful life.
She doesn’t mind pausing to rest. She brings her life in the direction where her heart shows her.
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She constantly does life checks and executes pivots when deemed necessary. A beautiful woman doesn’t know how to give up.
A beautiful woman moves on
A beautiful woman might not know how to give up but she knows how to move on. She doesn’t cling on anything that doesn’t give her life meaning and joy anymore and this is after exhausting every mean possible.
She is not afraid of starting over no matter how many times she needed to. She hits refresh whenever needed.
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She isn’t afraid to make mistakes. She knows the role failure plays in her life and what they are bound to teach her.
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She doesn’t chicken out when faced with hard topics like emotions like shame, vulnerability and hurt. She feels the pain while it’s there and doesn’t try to be busy just to mask or numb it. She heals and moves on with more wisdom.
A beautiful woman knows how to celebrate.
A beautiful woman doesn’t wait for big achievements or special occasions to celebrate. She knows that being able to open her eyes in the morning to welcome another day is already a gift that calls for celebration.
She doesn’t make any new year’s resolution because she knows that practicing good habits is better than always saying she will change the bad ones.
She is aware that she is on a borrowed time so she collects moments instead of things. She doesn’t care about what people would say if she laughs so loud or if she can be seen with tears of joy or fear.
She is not scared to look silly.
She loves and cares deeply.
She welcomes emotions as part of her daily life. No matter what emotion it is, she is thankful for it because these strong emotions make her feel alive the most.
A beautiful woman knows how to have a life outside her work.
A beautiful woman knows that she is not just born to pay bills and die. She knows that even if she devotes all her time to a job that helps her pay her bills, she will be replaced the moment that she fails to show up and do the job so she is so vigilant in drawing the line that separates the two.
She clocks in on time and prevents burn out by working only on the normal working hours.
She doesn’t say yes to a project just to impress her boss and her colleagues. She only says yes when she means it.
A beautiful woman has friends outside work and knows that not all her colleagues are her friends.
A beautiful woman helps.
A beautiful woman helps others through small and random acts of kindness. Her heart is pure, compassionate and full of love that she is willing to extend to others.
She doesn’t judge because she doesn’t know what others might be going through.
She knows that little acts of kindness goes a long way and she knows that everyone carries loads that they don’t show or talk about.
She helps even if no one sees it and even if she will not be thanked for it. She does it for the peace of her soul.
A beautiful woman has a heart that feels.
A beautiful woman smiles.
A beautiful woman knows that everyone is fighting different battles and that the simplest and cheapest random act of kindness she can give is her smile.
She knows that not everybody will smile back but she doesn’t mind. She is ready to slay the day by starting it with a smile that extends up to the eyes that shows sincerity and warmth.
A beautiful woman keeps her mouth shut.
A beautiful woman doesn’t open her mouth if only destructive words and complaints are what’s going to come out of it. She knows that these are worse than the worst case of poison which can spread in the atmosphere and infect everyone.
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A beautiful woman chooses her words wisely and knows how to wait for the perfect timing and doesn’t give unsolicited advise.
She makes sure that gossip dies whenever it will reach her by not helping it to spread.
She knows why we all have two ears, two eyes and just one mouth.
Beauty, they say, is in the eyes of the beholder so I went and ask my online community.
Here are their answers and none of it spoke about anything physical aside from her smile which to me, is still something that reflects what she has inside.
Jinkee SantosA woman who grows and glows. She is an encouragement and admiration to others. A woman who builds up, empowers, revives and does not tear other women down makes her beautiful.❤
Rebekah Joan A woman who puts others before herself. Aka, has a servant’s heart.❤
Jodi BennettA woman who shows herself the love & care she so freely gives to everyone else!♥️
Nikki Fisk A woman who embraces freedom.
Kristie Starkoff Confidence and intelligence.
Catherine Joguilon-Malong A beautiful woman is a woman who exudes love in her every single way. She leaves trail of happiness in paths she takes. Her confidence and smile are contagious and that she lives her life with great purpose, meaningful and selfless.
Sheenah Tan Resilience. ♥️
renelafalce
Vulnerable and Compassionate
quirkywrites
A few things that popped in my head are: her passion, patience, kindness, and her smile!
cananozkc
the beauty of a woman with a beautiful heart is reflected on her face!! be natural and smile with eyes?
When she stands up for herself.
murat.bozkan2018
It’s her passions that make a woman beautiful and attractive, to enjoy life.
Character and smile
Poster Girl Blog recently published an article which talked about the definition of beautiful and it is quite the opposite of perfect. You can read it here.
Girl, “don’t just be an eye candy. Be a soul food.”
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I LOVE all of these! It can be so discouraging to see the focus of beauty be on looks. This is so inspiring. <3
Thank you so much, girl. and yes, I hope one day it changes. What a more beautiful world it will be then. =)
Hi! I love this post! I can actually relate to your story a lot. I have had many people who were very mean to me for being different in general. But with time you realize what’s important and what’s not. Learning our own worth is the biggest challenge that one can face but once that is realized, no mean person’s words can ever bother us. The ability to focus on important things is the true beauty. Thanks for including me too! Shared!
That is true. How we look is not the most important thing in this world. Thank you so much for being generous and sharing your thoughts and this article. Sending you ❤️❤️
Thank you for the post us women we always need a reminder to change our home and the world.thank you again
Amazing, amazing article ! I will have to definitely read this again and again. They are great reminders. This also reminds me of a verse that says, “ Charm is deceitful and beauty is fading but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised.” Proverbs 31:30. Thank you. I will pass this on to my daughters and friends.