Why It’s Okay to be Unapologetically You: Self-Love Lessons Learned from Blogging

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A Facebook message from a fellow blogger read something like:

 

Your website and articles are good but you must have a niche.”

 

I didn’t respond. I kept my one-blog-post-worth of answer in my head.

 

Having a niche will limit the scope of things I can talk about and really I don’t want to only be able to talk about one thing. I want to be able to talk about how I thought the clouds are following me when I was a child and that to be a mermaid was all I ever dreamt of no matter how much open water terrifies me.

 

I want to be able to talk about all the random little things.

 

I mean it’s okay to be able to just talk nonstop about one single topic and to create another blog that will talk about other things too but I didn’t want that.

 

I trust that if I have readers, they are well rounded individuals who can keep up and would also want to be able to let loose and dream freely.

 

I am sure that my readers, if I have any, also have thousands of random thoughts and I’m sure they want  to feel that it is normal. It is okay to be carried away by our daydreams.

 

Another goes like this:

 

Your article’s point is good and clear. I am an English teacher and it gives me headache to see misplaced punctuation marks and syntax errors. I don’t want to call your attention on this and make you ashamed about your writing by pointing out the mistakes but I want to help if you like and if it’s okay, I will copy the article from your website and proofread it. I will send you the edited version on Friday afternoon.”

 

I replied with so much gratitude. I am not so particularly strict when it comes to these punctuation marks and I am not a native English speaker neither so I’m sure that there will be a lot of mistakes. I just feel pure bliss when I write and I share it. Even if I have Yoast Plug in for SEO stuff, I still ignore it most of the time. I want to be able to write as I please. This is also why I feel so humbled when someone writes to me and comments on my post. Because I write as if no one will read it. I am now only writing for myself. If truth be told, I post and run. Writing became a very important part of my healing. Writing has helped me to disconnect. Writing has been a huge part of my personal growth and development.

 

A couple of Friday afternoons passed and I still didn’t receive the edited copy like what the Syntax expert promised. I would think that the message was just a spam but how can it be a spam when it was sent as a Facebook private message to my private Facebook account? I still want to think that she is a concerned citizen who wanted my grammar to be perfect for the world to see. Maybe the world’s entire problem depended on it. I should not think that she just wanted to remind me that my writing sucks. After all, I am open for criticism because that’s how I will improve.

 

You should be in New York and then London and then other countries.”

 

“But mine is not a travel blog.” I replied. Then no answer.

 

If I will be honest here, just traveling and nonstop exploring already lost its appeal to me. I want to be able to do something that has meaning. I want to be aligned with my truth. I want to be able to spend my life with purpose. I want a life that will allow me to be the person God has designed me to be.

 

Mark Manson, the author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, was right. After traveling so much, a new country will not add so much value anymore.

In fact, being on the road since 2014 is tiring. It has started wearing me off. I just wanted to be at home whenever I can, feed my soul, grow some roots and be part of something with great value. I am still traveling, am I not? Slow travel that is. After all, what am I still running away from?

 

A Pinterest message included a link of a course on how to use Pinterest to generate income. The same person who wanted to help me with it sent it as I started it in July. She offered to be my Virtual Assistant for free in exchange for a review of her performance. I was deeply touched.

I am clueless about how it works and seeing other accounts made me really stressed and pressured. I was tempted to accept her offer but I realized how much learning I will miss if someone will do it for me.

 

While it will be incredible to have my passion the sole source of my income, I really wanted to learn everything I can from it.

 

I don’t want to skip anything.

 

I am willing to see what works and what doesn’t.

 

I know that I will feel it when I have reached a point where I will need extra pair of hands. I was tempted to take the course and other courses that promised to generate hundreds of thousands of views and thousands of dollars income. Again, I want to be able to say that I did something for myself. So I’m very happy to say that though I only earned 3.15 Euros on my third month of blogging, I feel like a millionaire. I am not in a hurry to earn money from it. To have a creative outlet for a hobby is more than okay and to be paid just one cent for doing it, I will be ecstatic!

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I might have only earned 3.15 Euros but it’s okay. I am enjoying the slow process of growth and with all the other things I have learned in my three months of blogging, I feel like I have won the lottery.

 

And most importantly, if there’s one thing I have learned from blogging, that is to be unapologetically me.

 

Please share if you liked it. =)

 

 

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Blog income report

 

 

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This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I will receive a small commission. This is at no cost to you but helps me to provide awesome content regularly. Thanks for your support!

 

 

 

How Not To Write “About Me” in Your Website Page.

Yeah Sure! I have endlessly ranted about the scarily intimidating technical side of blogging and website designing and building. Not only that, I have confidently declared my love for talking about how passionate I am about writing only for it to slap me hard in the face when I accidentally clicked on my “About” page. It’s not only empty. It’s rubbish. Looks like I need to also declare my inability to write something about myself.

While I’ve been scribbling almost about other things I am passionate about, I couldn’t do the same about myself without really asking who really I am. I’m self centered right? Then it should be the easiest page to fill but it isn’t without sounding that I am so full of myself. I typed non-stop. Paused to read it and then angrily jabbed at the innocent poor backspace button. Blank space again. I wasted more than half an hour of my precious time when I can use that time in figuring out how to improve my blog’s traffic. I started typing again to describe me in second person. It was a bit easier this. I stopped and read it. Control A. Delete. Great! I have a new routine. I have successfully mastered the art of wasting my time.

 

This made me think. Is this how clueless I am about my own self? Is this how I loathe myself? Why do I need to do astral travel just to be able to see myself in such an acceptable way even for my own liking? How will I be able to give myself some justice? Will I come off as too boastful in my choice of words or for the length of this page? If I couldn’t write it, who should I ask to do it? Who knows me better than I do? Clearly, I have confidence issues no matter how much I say that I have gotten rid of it. Were all my efforts to know and love myself better not working? It turns out that like my

blog, I am still under construction.

 

What are your struggles in writing “About” page? Sure I need sound tips.

10 Things I’ve Learned After One Month of Blogging.

This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I will receive a small commission. This is at no cost to you but helps me to provide awesome content regularly. Thanks for your support!

I first heard of blogging in 2012 and then started with a free platform. I can’t remember if it was my roommate of four years or my first ex-boyfriend who introduced me to this completely different world.

Three years later, I found myself buying a domain which due to my village girl-ness, I gave it up because I failed to find out how it works, how to sustain it and for my thousands of endless nonsense reasons. Finally, one month ago, I launched my website and though I still haven’t gotten my act together yet, I am not willing to raise the white flag I have hidden somewhere and still trying my bestest to write and create something just because I love it.

Blogging is another planet.

I thought blogging was easy. Maybe I got used to the fact that I was just using a free platform then that only required writing, posting and running. The only marketing I did was in Facebook if I feel like sharing it. My readers were just my friends, acquaintances and family. To have a successful blog wasn’t in my mind. All I know is that, keeping and maintaining a blog help balance my mental health. Writing is actually cheaper than therapy and I didn’t have to feel scared that people around me think I am a hopeless case. Plus, I have a creative outlet.

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Bloggers are geniuses.

I have huge respect to bloggers. Imagine being the Researcher, the Writer, the Editor, the Social Media Manager, the Digital Marketer, the advertiser, the Brand Manager, the Graphic Artist, the Web Developer and Designer, the Photographer, the Model, the Video Editor, the Art Director, the IT guy, the Customer Service Representative, the PR manager, the Investor (if there are no sponsors like me) and the COO or CEO all at the same time. This is what it means to be a blogger and I am honestly close to declaring that I am not. All I knew was I wanted to write about the emotions I have felt, all the things I have learned, all the places I have been to, restaurants where I have eaten, cute little accessories, shoes and dresses I have. I was wrong.

I remember on the same day that I purchased my domain. I felt so happy. I felt like a bought my own little world and I have it my hands. My nightmare began when I looked at the blank page after installing WordPress. I felt like a paralyzed person. I couldn’t move my hands to start doing the dirty work of layout and design. Sure I have idea of how I want that world to look like but I don’t know how to do it. Sure I have articles but I will need to polish them to make sure that my grammar will not make me gag, the photos needed to be edited, Instagram to be updated and Pinterest to be figured out while trying to understand what SEO, widgets, niche and plug-ins are. I didn’t even know that Google Analytics exist and what significance it has in my new role as an aspiring blogger. Few hours after posting my first blog entry, I have to worry about responding to my only two readers who commented on the post and then answer their questions too?

It’s a hard world to penetrate.

The rent to have that little space in the internet is not so high so there are bloggers who really make a living out of their websites and the competition is unbelievably high. Their dedication, talents, skills and intelligence is just remarkable. Not that I want to compete. Much as I want my website to grow and be profitable, I am more eager to be well versed in this digital world which doesn’t seem to show any decline in the future. I want to update my so obsolete technology program and I saw blogging as a good start.

People are good.

I joined Facebook groups of bloggers and surprised to discover that bloggers are good people. Despite how intimidating their websites are or how big their social media following is, they respond without any fee involved. They are good motivators. They support each other and that they are like-minded people who aren’t stingy with information. They respond in such a way I won’t feel dumber than I already do in terms of blogging. I remember asking a schoolmate for tips and suggestions but I was thrown to seen zone as if saying “who has the time for a clueless village girl like you?” When I joined groups, a lady offered to be my Pinterest Virtual Assistant for free and won’t accept even goods from me. Only a review of her performance. I just couldn’t accept her offer for the fear that I will not learn how to do it myself. Knowing how bad my ADHD is, I am scared to be dependent and abuse the kindness I am being given.

I became more open to criticism.

I think the only reason why I gave up blogging before was because I kept on doubting myself. I never believed that I have the ability to. I was always afraid of being criticized for my poor English grammar or my content isn’t good enough. Now, I will even share my latest blog post and ask other bloggers how I can improve it. Not for the growth of the blog but for my growth as a person and as a budding writer.

I am learning how to write.

I never realized how much I loved writing until I moved to Germany and all my friends are in the Philippines and Malaysia. Time difference was so hard to beat that I found myself resorting to journaling. I soon tried posting them as short Facebook entries. Few friends called my attention by suggesting to write a book that talks about my experiences on the road. But to write a book feels so heavy so I started with a blog. Sure my writing is not as good as I want it to be but I am learning. The blogging world has lead me to other bloggers’ works and through their websites, I feel more inspired and motivated to take little steps everyday that will bring me to my dreams of one day becoming the “wordsmith” that I have always dreamed of.

Blogging trained me to be a better reader.

To be a good writer is to be a good reader first and I am sure that I have read that somewhere. The same amount I spend in writing is the same amount of time I allot for reading or even more. Reading has made me bump into words, emotions and ideas that I never got anywhere. Sure I travel but there are still soooo many things that I still want and need to know and I am aware that it’s only through reading that I will be able to achieve that. So far, reading has been a huge help in giving me enough words to express my thoughts, ideas and emotions. Blogging has made me free more time to sit, read and live slowly and reading has made me a completely different person.

Blogging made me define success differently.

All the while I thought that being successful means having a lot of money, stable high paying job, friends and a hot guy to date. So in the world of blogging, I thought that success means having tons of followers, readers and people who talk about the blog. I was wrong. Because for me, success in blogging simply means, being out there telling the world that it is okay to be different. It is okay to bask in glory of simple joy. It is okay to have just one reader even if that one person is your best friend. It is okay to not have a big number of followers. It is okay not to have niche. It is okay to do what you want to do with your website. It is okay to be weird like me that every time I publish a blog post I feel successful because I didn’t let my fear win over me and that is pure bliss.

Patience

I was thinking of hiring a Virtual Assistant and I will just have to think of writing but then I realized, “how will I learn?” What’s the point of having a website that I don’t have any idea how to run it?

I remember being able to finally create the Menus, Categories and Sub-categories then posted my first few articles. My website layout looked like a real mess (it’s still a mess) so I wanted to do something about it. When I went back to page landing, the entire Menu was gone. I panicked and no matter what I did and what I clicked, I couldn’t make it appear anymore. For 15 minutes, I cried in frustration. My laptop has hundreds of tabs open and I was in chaos (I still am). I opened YouTube and with tear stained cheeks and blurry sight, searched on ways how to make the Menu appear. Thank you You Tubers and bloggers. My Menu is back but I still don’t know how to link my website to AdSense.

Let go and have fun.

Life is short and we only have 24 hours. No matter how much I stress about wanting to accomplish and learn more, there will always be the gift of tomorrow. The most important thing I have learned in blogging is that it is okay that my page looks like a battlefield. It’s okay even if my blog isn’t everything to everyone. All that matters to me is that I write and I actively create something without the aching pain of pleasing everyone or wanting to be somebody else. Embracing blogging is welcoming a new beginning with tons of learning. Blogging gave me an assurance that I will never be bored again. It is a proof that it there is always something to learn and really, age is just a number. It is never too late to learn something.

This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I will receive a small commission. This is at no cost to you but helps me to provide awesome content regularly. Thanks for your support!

About Us

 

Dani is a plus sized Filipina ADHD kid, recovering shopaholic, alcoholic and workaholic. She doesn’t take herself seriously. She has an insatiable wanderlust, out of this world food cravings and goof addiction. If she is not busy planning her next adventure, she will be spotted taking OOTDs and OOTNs. She took a break from the crazy corporate world to see the real one. This is not another travel blog. This is her journey to self discovery, embracing flaws and feeding her soul of what sets it on fire. She is out to prove that life begins at the end of the comfort zone.

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