Mental Health

10 Serious Signs You are on the Wrong Path in Life

What could a poor, third world village girl know about path in life?

I was 29 when my great depression hit me.

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I thought I had all what a girl could ever wish for.

I was working as an expat in Malaysia and could do whatever I wanted to do, buy whatever I wanted to have and travel wherever I wanted to.

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Few months before I went MIA from a job that I thought I wanted, I was in Bali.

It was what everyone has been raving about so of course, I must see it. It will look good on my Instagram and Facebook.

Everyone wanted to be there. The night life is incredible. The beach is pristine. The view is just breath taking. But not to me and I couldn’t justify it.

Bali is beautiful. What was boiling inside me, wasn’t.

No matter how beautiful the sunset in Tanah Lot was, I couldn’t explain the melancholy. It was like I was numb the entire time that I was there. I just couldn’t explain it.

I went back to my usual routine after that last string of nearly a month of backpacking but one thing was already certain: I couldn’t stay in my little cubicle anymore.

I remember, the fact that our office was sharing a building with Hilton Hotel thrilled me. I would normally have my coffee by the window of our pantry just to look at the hotel’s swimming pool below us. That never failed to do the trick. It never failed to make me feel refreshed to go back to work again.

But not this time.

Later that I realized that these were signs that I was not in the right path in life.

Loathe Mondays

The first red flag was when I started hating Mondays or any start of the work week and any sign that I will need to be at work again.

I have been forcing myself to look forward to something like a new dress, a new pair of shoes or activities after work. But work itself, no.

I was lucky to have enjoyed the company of my colleagues but it is the job. It is different. It doesn’t spark any joy inside me and that I couldn’t handle it anymore. I couldn’t go on another day or week or month anymore.

Irritated easily

I was chirpy, happy-go-lucky and really loud. I used this to be good in servicing our customers. I got compliments which meant an hour off for every compliment that I would get. But during those days, I would snap at our customers. I would answer impolitely.

My number of complaints went up, my number of absences and tardiness increased and I just couldn’t find other fitting words to justify why I was behaving in such way. I was lying to my boss and to his boss.

My boss was just so kind and patient to me. I know that he knows that I am a hard-worker. He would defend me until he could but my attitude wasn’t acceptable anymore, at least to me.

Empty

No matter where I went, with whom and number of activities I did, I just wanted more. I just wanted to have that kind of exhaustion that will make my entire body tired enough to knock me out at night so I will not be able to feel that void.

I would surround myself with different people every night but I just couldn’t tell exactly what was wrong and I wasn’t sure if anyone would be able to understand me if I would open up. It looked like all the others didn’t have to deal with such hallow feeling.

I was forcing myself to be just like everyone else hoping I will not feel that kind of emptiness if I blended well.

Unsatisfied with life

My salary was more than enough to support myself and all the luxuries I was used to but I never seem to stop in looking for more.

I kept on shopping for clothes and I hated to be seen wearing something twice.

I would count the number of shoes, bags and dresses I have during my little spare time and would go and try the endless bars. I never cared how I would be able to come home even if I had to work the following day.

I would drink until I could or even until I couldn’t anymore. Until one of my friends needed to literally drag and push me inside a cab just to make sure that I would make it home safe.

I changed minds easily. I was the most impulsive person I know. I never thought twice about doing something. I looked for cheap thrills and instant fixes.

Unanswered Questions

“Who am I?” “ Why am I here?” “What is life really about?” “Where am I going?” “What motivates me?” “Do I have purpose?” “What will happen to me in the future?” “Do I just do this over and over and then what?”

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What Motivates You?

I wanted to kick myself for having so much questions. I wanted to kick myself for having so much energy to even ask. Why do I even ask? Why can’t I just go on with my job, activities and not think so much?

Why there aren’t people asking these? Why can’t I seem to find the answers?

I know, no one really knows the answer to these questions but if you are in the right path in life, then whatever answer you come up with your questions, you will be okay.

You always feel tired

My experience with depression told me that the physical and intellectual aspects of life aren’t the only things that matter.

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I have managed to lose nearly half of my weight, I managed to look good from the outside but still felt that something was rotting inside me.

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I felt that there is an open wound that’s making me bleed to death.

When I reached my lowest low, I realized that what I thought of just simple unanswered questions in my head isn’t tiring. This is where I realized that my mental, spiritual and holistic health matter too and if I will be honest, they matter more.

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If you feel that you need more time to rest even if the amount of your physical activities aren’t that much, it’s time to do a life audit. You are headed in the wrong direction.

You are not tired. You are not inspired and not motivated.

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Unclear Dreams, Goals and Future

When you are in the wrong path in life, you’ll feel that your existence is just to make a living.

You will set aside answering questions like “What is your ultimate dream?” or “What are your goals?” I mean what are the real ones if money is no object?

You change your mind often. You will more likely to settle just because you need to survive.

You will not sit and really ask yourself what makes you happy and even if you do, you will tell yourself to forget it because it is not going to happen anyway.

When the topic that includes the future comes up, you don’t see it. It’s blurred. You know it’s because every bone in your body is telling you that this is not what you wanted.

Low Self-esteem

When someone praises me, I question the intention.

What does the person want from me? I know the manner of my upbringing will be questioned here but its the truth. Maybe I was never given the right kind of praises growing up in a poor family of farmers because to look good is not the main objective.

The family’s main objective is not to work in the farms anymore and just sit in the comfortable corporate world.

But because from the village, I was sent to a private school without warning me that kids who go to that school have a different culture, I got to thinking that I will never be able to fit in. I didn’t know that culture can clash too even if it’s just in the same town.

We firmly believe that education will stand us a chance in life but this education didn’t give me enough trust in myself. I needed a different kind of education. I needed an education that will cure my low regards for myself.

A robot in the making

You hardly have time for yourself and for little pleasures. Your priority isn’t yourself. You wake up, prepare to work, work, go home, remember to pay the bills and tend to your family.

You are on auto-pilot.

Your routine has been the same for years. You despise it. You want to change it but you just don’t know how.

In your little spare time, you stalk your favorite Instagrammer then you resume to living your life according to your routine.

You just feel it

No matter what you do, you just feel deep down that there is no alignment between what you want and where you are in life. You know deep down that you are just anchoring on the safe shore.

You don’t believe in yourself, in what you can do, what you can achieve and how you can change your life.

You don’t believe in the beauty of your daydreams. You’d rather struggle inside than to risk being in a very uncomfortable situation.

You resist the chance to grow.

You resist to give yourself the chance that for once, you are doing something for yourself and not for anybody else.

I know life isn’t easy. It isn’t about butterflies and unicorns but it is beautiful.

But sometimes, we are too caught up with all the things that make us busy that we wonder how we reached a point where we didn’t know what happened.

Let these ten signs be your reminder to do a self check before things get out of hand.

I know, you know deep down inside you what you want. You just haven’t found the right words and courage to express it.

Girl, life begins at the end of your comfort zone. I’ll be happy to meet you there. =)

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10 Signs That You are on the Wrong Path in Life

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24 thoughts on “10 Serious Signs You are on the Wrong Path in Life

  1. This posts resonated so much with me! I’ve been through a period like that when I was just on the wrong path and going in the wrong direction. Hating Mondays was a big sign for me. Even Sundays became depressing at the end because it was the day before Monday. I also tried to fill the void with shopping, without even realising. And it impacted my health quite a bit…

  2. This post really spoke to me. I feel as though I could have written the large majority of it myself. At the moment I know I am on the wrong life path for me. I am making gradual changes, I have plans for bigger changes coming up but it all takes time and planning.

  3. I am all of these things and more. I studied do hard, wasted so much money and got the job! Then fell harder than I ever thought I could. Now I’ve been off sick for 6 months and feel panicy at the thought of walking back into a job that, ultimately, I don’t feel passion for anymore.

    – Nyxie

    nyxiesnook.com

  4. I need help ! I reached a point where nothing interests me. Not even reading. How will I get rid of this boredom and enjoy life more???

  5. Hi Shanny. I hope you are well. I get you. I have been there a lot of times. But I’d say to use this time to really ask yourself what will bring joy in your life. What do you really want? What feels like love? What makes you excited? Answer these without considering money. Write your answers and and write them honestly. Then work towards what it is that spark joy inside you. For starters, I have written an article about how to stop wasting time that you might find useful. I recommend reading there but it is okay to not want to read. It is important to be kind to yourself and stop forcing yourself to be intrested to things just so you’ll say that you are being productive. Here is the link. https://thisvillagegirl.com/how-to-stop-wasting-time-and-make-2019-your-best-year-ever/. I hope you find it useful. ♥️

  6. Hi Dani. Jea here from Kl, Malaysia. I found your article exactly what i feel now. I feels like im talking to myself whenever i read every single sentences you wrote. Thanks for the great articles, this help me a lot.

    Ive been looking and searching for what is missing in myself after quite sometimes but i just don’t have any idea what is wrong with myself untill i found yr articles related to my situation now.

    I hope i can meet you one day bcz i am one of adhd kid also. I bet we understand each othet better. Despite, i am now improving myself and not giving an excuse for having ADHD as a failure in my life.

    Thanks again love.

    1. Hi Jea. Thank you so much for reaching out and reading. I love KL so much. It is my second home. 🙂

      Having ADHD isn’t bad. I realized it’s gift that needs to be used. It is okay to feel like that. It’s normal. I would still say that it’s a gift. Use this emotions to explore and learn about yourself. You’re done with the first step, to acknowledge. The rest will be the interesting part, self exploration and growth. Understand and love yourself and you’ll see. It will all make sense. I wish you joy Jea. ❤️

  7. Hi Dani
    This is so me! Spent so many years on autopilot due to PND and came out the other side but now plagued with depression. At a time where I should be embracing getting back to my own life (kids are grown) I feel lost again. I’ve only experienced adulthood as a mother as I was a teen mum.
    Things I thought I’d enjoy, I don’t. Don’t leave the house unless I have to. Enthusiasm comes and goes in record time.
    I’m working hard to step out of my ‘not-so-comfortable’ comfort zone.
    Thank you for this post, It’s comforting to know it can be done. I shall be scouring your site for more pearls 🙂 x

    1. Thank you so much for this, Siobhan. This comment means a lot to me and to know the fact that I am not alone having these thoughts and that it is normal to go through this no matter how much we all seem to avoid difficult to handle topics. I know you are already on your way. I know you will figure it out. I know you’ll find your way to happiness. Please know that my lines are always open. You are not alone on this. =)

  8. Thank you Danny for the advice. It really helped me a lot. Looking forward to more great posts from u. U r really an inspiration 🙂

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