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For many of us, 2020 was the year that never existed. It was as if life has passed us by, all sorts if struggles surfaced and it shook us all up to our cores.
So many establishments closed down, many businesses filed bankruptcy, a lot of married couples divorced, a lot of people all over the world lost their jobs, went hungry, separated from their family and loved ones, had to quarantine alone and face isolation alone and those who were trapped in an abusive and traumatizing situations and worst, a lot of people didn’t wake up to see better days.
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This pandemic made us all equal and less foreign to pain, desperation and longing to go back to normal.
2020 was indeed easy to say the hardest of all the years that we have had in the last couple of years.
But for me, who has been struggling since the day my greatest depression hit me which lead me to press my own self-destruct button years before Corona, 2020 to me, because I am still alive and slowly getting myself out of the dark hole that I have dug for myself, I realized that even if it has been terribly painful, there was no more point in feeling sorry for myself.
I realized, despite the hardships, I still lived and I must open my eyes more and continue finding the little nuggets of wisdom my sufferings, challenges and obstacles are trying to teach me.
All my pain have made me remember my goal which is to heal from everything and enjoy every moment of the life that I have now while looking at and daydreaming about my dream life. It was hard to snatch myself out from sitting miserably with pain but I realized, I must not force pain to go away but instead, still live even if I was in pain.
That even if I was in pain, grieving and question why things are happening in my life, I still can look for things that will make me feel good about being alive and in the moment because that’s where life is and the present moment is the only sure thing I can have.
My depression made me realize how self-centered I was for being so into my own suffering that I wasn’t able to see the people around me trying to make my life easier and those who are giving me the love they thought I needed but because of my pain and fear, I was blind to even notice them.
My depression made me selfish and felt hurt, betrayed and mad when people didn’t want to participate in my pity party anymore.
I was angry and greedy to succeed fast and was not content with all the little successes that I was achieving that I took people for granted.
2020, among all the previous years have taught me so much that I need to warn you that this episode is long and I yapped and yapped non-stop for more than half an hour because that’s just how much 2020 made me realize.
Do you also look back at the previous years to audit your life and know how far you are from your goals and record all the lessons it has taught you? The comment section is open for your feedback and topic and guest suggestions. I’d love to hear from you.
