“It’s your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.” Rumi
History
The past 17 years, I managed our household by taking care of my kids and husband. Due to this choice, I found myself lost because I completely left myself behind. My life was not unhappy but I could not tell you what exactly brought me joy. If you are in the same place and leaving yourself last, I urge to begin a new thought process. It could be just 30 minutes a week but in those 30 minutes do what you love.
Are You Walking Someone Else’s Road
I realized by reflecting on these past years, I was not walking my own journey. Instead, I was trying to walk someone else’s road for them. For example, I tried to walk my husband’s road and his fight for sobriety. I also tried to control my high school child’s path by telling him exactly what to do. I guess I thought I was the smartest person because I was forcing my ideas. And we all know my way is the right way…right?! Just kidding.
Well, sort of because I truly thought my ideas were the end all be all for my family. It was eye-opening when I recognized that I made their journey my priority.
My Road
This came to light recently because my children are no longer dependent on me in the same way. Also, my husband does not need me to hold his hand as he works on his recovery.
Now I sit alone and ask myself what is missing. Well, it is my road. I must face this unknown territory and learn who I am. So I hang onto hope, leave room for change, and lean on my friends and family who will walk alongside me.
Who Walks With You
What a beautiful line when Rumi says “others may walk it with you”. This helps me believe that I am not alone. My road may be bumpy and have lots of curves or it may be surrounded by beautiful scenery. No matter the trail, I have my loved ones to hold me when times are tough and celebrate with me when life is great.
This quote ends with the reminder that “no one can walk it for you”. This ending reminds us that we have a voice and no other voice matters more. We also can not sit back and expect others to tell us how to work out a problem. I remember being a first-time mom and wanting all the answers handed to me. At the end of the day, I learned that I had figure it out on my own. Do you know what happened next? I experienced the biggest reward. I gained knowledge and strength. The most important part was learning from my mistakes.
Every Road Leads to a Destination
We all hope for our dreams to come true from the beginning of our childhood. Today is the day to make them a priority. I hope you find your path no matter what your circumstances are at home or work.
While my family is the center of my world, I am learning the balance of life. Sometimes the scales lean more to one side but I know what brings them back to center. May you find the same balance and hold your head high as you walk your road.
About the Guest Contributor
Kelley started her blog because of a change in her home life. Her husband suffers from PTSD caused by his military days. Unfortunately, this led to his increase in his alcohol consumption. Kelley tried looking online for resources and others who were experiencing the same issues. This blog originated by sharing her truth on alcoholism in her life. In the end, Kelley learned more about herself, discovered her voice, and self-love.
Connect with Kelley
This is such a strong and beautiful story, I loved reading it. It is truly so important to also care for ourselves when we care for others- otherwise we end up depleted, and can truly offer no more.
Thank you for your kind words on the post. It was a big eye-opening moment when I realized I was not doing self-care.
I absolutely love this post and it resonates with me as well. I always try to “control” people in my life by telling them what I think is best for them. But it ends up depleting myself and not really helping them either. And at the end of the day I lose precious time to develop myself. I think what you wrote is an important message that everyone needs to read. We need to focus on ourselves first and stop trying to control the paths of others.
This was such a great read! It is important for everyone to identify what brings them joy. But, it is easy to live the life of/for someone else when trying to live your own life. Because sometimes that’s what love looks like. Until we learn otherwise.
So glad this post resonated with you. I am learning more about true joy and happiness by efforts I put towards myself first. I have to say it is not an overnight process. However, I am happy with the progress. I wish you well and hope your self-care changed bring you the same joy.
Good story! Sometimes we forget to pay attention to ourselves. Thank you for reminding.
I am thankful for your kind words. Writing this was one way for me to practice the needed reminders.
We all need our own hobbies, our own space and our own lives away from others. Great post.
Thank you! So glad that you are finding that time for yourself .
This is a great post that made me reflect on my life. As women and moms, we so often suppress our desire to travel our own road. So it made me think about what I need to do to walk my own road.
I am so glad this prompted your own self-reflection. Best wishes!
As a wife, mom, employee, etc etc it is really easy to lose yourself these days. I am so glad to read that others feel this way, too. Makes me feel less alone. Thanks for sharing.
You know last year I struggled a lot with feeling alone. This was the reason I started my blog. You made my day knowing I helped you feel less alone. Glad that we can support each other!
Hi Kelly and Dani, what a lovely, thought-provoking piece of writing. No matter what our circumstances, we should all take some time to travel our own road. Of course it’s difficult when you have a husband and children, we get ‘left behind’. But one day we’ll realise that we also have to live, and then we start the discovery. All the best for the future. 🙂
Thank you for your words of encouragement! Best wishes to you as well.
Such a raw and real post which is very nice to see. I hope your journey to finding yourself brings you great joy, happiness and much self-exploration!
Thank you! You are 100% correct that I am definitely on a journey and learning so much.
This is truly helpful, thanks.